What is Rest
Rest seems like a simple enough concept, we get tired from the busy lives we live so we sit on the couch and scroll through our phones, read, watch TV, maybe even have a nap. At first glance all of these things look like rest; however, they are all actually introducing more stimuli for our brains to process consciously. We are truly only resting when your bodies and brains are not processing on the conscious level. We are truly only resting when we are not guilt tripping ourselves for taking a break. We are truly only resting when we are not planning out what we will do as soon as we are done resting. We are truly only resting when we can quiet our minds and actually allow the body to be completely still.
Many of us rush through life, we fill our schedules to the max because we live in a society that places value on accomplishments and achievements. We live in a world that craves titles and as such value is placed on us based on our titles. Due to the emphasis society places on titles and achievements we strive to have impressive titles, make the most money, and achieve as much as we can usually at the expense of our health. We continue through this cycle and tell ourselves that the hour we spend at night, watching TV, reading, having a bath etc., is enough to fuel us and get us to our next achievement. The reality is these activities are not actually facilitating a state of deep rest for a number of reasons. The first of those reasons being they require us to be consciously aware of the activity we are engaged in. When we truly relax we are not processing information on the conscious level we are completely and totally still in our physical and mental states. Reason two being that because we are processing these activities on a conscious level our brains are active and when the brain is active we are being bombarded by the 3000 thoughts we have per hour. Yes, per hour. Third these activities do not facilitate a complete release of tension in the body. Fourth these activities do not move you out of a conditioned sympathetic nervous system response.
Very briefly I will break down the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems and how they are meant to function. The sympathetic nervous system is automatic meaning we do not choose to engage it, it becomes active when we perceive a threat is present. This system moves us into a survival state activating our fight, flight, freeze. The sympathetic nervous system activates your psoas muscle, this is often why tight hips has become an epidemic in our society. The psoas muscle engages as it would be needed to lift the thigh to run, or to fight off the threat, or draw you into a small ball to freeze; however, because there is no actual threat to our survival we do not get to finish the cycle and we get stuck. Our current social climate is one of fear, everywhere we look there is something to be afraid of or someone spreading an opinion or idea that evokes a fear response. The mind is a powerful tool and we do not need to actually be in danger for our sympathetic nervous system to become activated, we only need to think we are in danger. Anything that threatens our survival and safety can cause us to think we are in danger which elicits our sympathetic nervous system. Our parasympathetic nervous system is activated when we exhale and it facilitates proper digestion and the healthy function of our bodies systems. These systems are complex and interconnect and I could write entire papers about them and their functioning so to ensure I do not get long winded I will move on from this topic.
Most of us are living in our sympathetic nervous system, we are hyper focused on our surroundings, our psoas is hard as a rock, we have digestive issues, fatigue, and poor sleep. This can be a frustrating place to be as we continue to tell ourselves that we are giving ourselves rest so why are we so tired? It is this constant internal monologue of “but we just sat and did blank for ‘x’ amount of hours how can we be tired still? I bet ‘insert person’s name’ isn’t as tired as we are, we need to do more, be better and on and on.” This conversation with ourselves moves us into a deeper state of fear as it challenges the importance we place on the titles we have worked so hard for and that we now may lose if we rest. We become afraid our basic needs will not be met which causes stress and anxiety to move into our mental space. This all makes us more tired and we begin to look for other coping methods outside of ourselves to try to ease our now very frayed nerves.
I am here to tell you the answer is always inside you. The answer to rest is not a glass of wine or bath at the end of the day, that is a pleasure for the senses, the answer is to notice the conversation you are having with yourself and challenge it. The answer is to notice the nagging voice that tells you, you aren’t enough, and acknowledge it, notice why it has come, and notice if you can learn the lesson it brings you. Then, challenge that nagging lie with an actual truth about yourself.
We are in control of the words we say to others and to ourselves. Choose the words you share with yourself carefully and notice when those words become a comparison to others. We have no idea what another person’s experience is, we only know ourselves. Be kind to yourself and challenge any inner speech that is not kind to you.
A beautiful way to begin to truly relax, to soften into ourselves and actually release is through the practice of Yoga Nidra. Through Yoga Nidra we are transported to the realm of the unconscious a place where we can process situations that have left a mark on us without attaching to them. Yoga Nidra guides us gently and safely back into our bodies, a place that we are meant to live in however for some of us the body may not have always been a safe place so we may have separated ourselves from the body. In uniting with the body again we are connected to ourselves and able to release stuck tension and emotions that have been living in the tissues of the body. In Yoga Nidra we truly and deeply relax as we are free from our thoughts and we are truly connected to our bodies. Yoga Nidra aids us in reprogramming the language we use when we talk about ourselves and the conversations we have with ourselves. Through this practice we not only find true relaxation we also find a deeper, stronger, and more loving connection with ourselves.
